Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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