The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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