You work out of a Hotel?
My brain says no but my pants say off.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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