I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
