So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Randomize
