there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Gay?
German.
Pity.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
