I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Randomize
