I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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