real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
