4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
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