it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize
