Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
