Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
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as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
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The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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