About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
