Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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