he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
