But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
