I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
