Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I puked a lego.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize
