Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
