I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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