My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
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