Define "chronic" masturbator.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Still dying that you shit outside
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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