do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Randomize
