he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
how does that bad decision feel?
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
Randomize
