just tell him i said nine months
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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