Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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