i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
