getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
