My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Randomize