you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Randomize