this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I fill condoms, not promises.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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