That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
