Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
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