They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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