These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
