I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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