omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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