I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
as a side note pls kill me
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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