your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
