I think I won the penis lottery.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
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