Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I am midnight drunk by noon
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
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