I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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