Sponge bath it is.
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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