Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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