You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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