Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
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