I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
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What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
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Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
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