You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
