Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
