I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
