Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
My vagina is officially offended.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
