my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Randomize
