dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I need to sanitize my soul.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Randomize
