She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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