I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
