two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
