lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
