please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
