Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
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