i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Randomize
