Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
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